The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
