I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
