i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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