saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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