I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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