So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
