I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
