I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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