I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
