No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
