Whod you bang
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
