You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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