He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
