did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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