Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
