oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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