i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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