then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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