Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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