I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Are my feet made of real feet?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
