So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
