then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your cock deserves a montage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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