Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
oh god was she eating orange peels again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
