Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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