I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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