i just google imaged poop.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
