you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
