Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
