I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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