i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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