Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
