Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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