Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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