I showed him my bush... on skype.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
