oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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