If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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