return my video game
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
