ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
