My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Terrible idea I love it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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