I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
