I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
