is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
