Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
