yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
