You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
