For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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