Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Having a random hookup so left but love u
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize