Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
