Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
