he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
