When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Even my vagina gasped.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You dont lie about slip and slides
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
