I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
