My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
sex in a hospital.. check
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
