I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
