So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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