i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
