He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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