There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
