He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
