i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
