i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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