She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.