PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
